The Last Word: The war on pollen
Every morning I awaken, and in the confusion between trying to turn an alarm off with an arm that fell asleep and wondering what day it is, I remember the war that is consuming my life. The enemy is everywhere, and like Antoine “Bed Intruder” Dodson, I am on the constant lookout for it to climb into my bed. The enemy is pollen. And like Harry Potter, Katniss Everdeen and any other young adult novel hero not including dead-eyed Bella Swan, I am looking to vanquish my mortal enemy. But unlike Harry Potter, I am without my support system and am calling on Elon students to apply for the positions of intelligent, and trustworthy female sidekick and useless, blubbering male best friend. Without my sidekick Hermione Granger, how will I ever learn to finish homework and vanquish evil, all the while maintaining a healthy social life? As for my Ron Weasley counterpart… well, Ron is pretty useless and abandoned his friend one too many times. I can’t have a friend of mine abandoning me when I reach stardom shortly into my post-college career.
