David Brooks thinks young adults should date more. 

The author and former columnist shared this idea to a sold-out audience in Alumni Gym on Sept. 25 as Elon University’s Fall Convocation speaker.

Brooks said dating was a significant source of education for his generation. 

And a lack of dating isn’t the only challenge Generation Z faces when it comes to social connection, according to Brooks. 

“COVID and politics and phones altogether have produced a poisonous cocktail that’s made social connection really hard,” Brooks said in an exclusive interview with Elon News Network. 

Because of these factors, Brooks said young people can’t do a range of simple tasks: from asking someone out to sitting with a grieving friend. 

“How good are you at these skills?” Brooks asked his audience. “Are you a good listener and good at making people feel seen, heard and understood? Well, I haven’t met most of you, but I can tell you with great confidence you’re not as good as you think you are.” 

But these tasks are essential, Brooks said. Learning how to connect with others while you’re young will impact the rest of your life. 

“There’s something about friendships that you make at 22 and below that you can never replicate ever again, and somehow those friendships are incredibly powerful,” Brooks said. 

To Brooks, the most important part of life is connecting with others. Who you marry, he says, is a far more important decision than your career. 

“George Elliot and Jane Austen know a lot about this stuff, and we should be assigning that so people prepare for the marriage decision,” Brooks said. “I once had a student say to me, ‘Marriage is a box that’ll come in the mail when I’m 35. I don’t have to think about it now.’”

Brooks’ emphasis on social connection appears in his newest book, “How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.” 

Brooks’ speech was the first event in the annual Speaker Series. 

Joanna Hall, an Elon parent, said she is a fan of Brooks and was looking forward to his visit. 

“I love David Brooks, so I was excited that he’s the speaker,” Hall said. “Last year, our flight was delayed, and we missed Katie Ledecki, so we were excited to get here.”  

When considering the future as a whole, Brooks said the most important thing to have is not brain power but energy power. To him, energy power comes from questioning constantly. 

“Everybody in this room was once a phenomenal question asker,” Brooks said. “And I know that because you’re all former three-year-olds. The average three-year-old asks 111 questions an hour.” 

It also comes from reading as much as possible. 

“Every afternoon from 1 p.m. and 6 p.m., I just hung around the library, wandering through the stacks,” Brooks said. “I started thinking, ‘What’s cool here?’ I wasn’t doing homework. I was just exploring.” 

He feels that change only comes from doing that exploration. And in a world where he said only 13% of young people feel that America’s moving in the right direction, that exploration can be a solution. 

Brooks had this advice for young people who have a bleak outlook on the world: What are you going to do about it?