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(03/19/09 12:04am)
About time...I'm not in the military, but it never seemed right to treat soldiers like yo-yos, promising a return home and then swinging them back out into the warzone. This is a country of laws, right? If we're going to use that as an excuse for corporate bonuses (of course, this could change if some in Washington get their way), we should oblige by the contracts we make to our troops to bring them home when they're supposed to be home.
(03/18/09 11:38pm)
Remember when you were in middle school, you just became acquainted with the internet and you discovered AIM? At first it was the coolest thing you had ever seen - imagine it! Being able to talk to people when they were far away, not having to press your ear against a rank phone earpiece, it was a miracle of technology. Sure, there were hiccups. Emo away messages came into vogue and littered the internet with Dashboard Confessional lyrics, bizarre buddy icons rotated in and out of our profiles, it was wonderful until everybody grew up and delegated their pseudonym of faaavrefann87 to the back row.
(03/17/09 6:08pm)
Isn't it a bit much for an all-powerful dictator to summon Italian chefs to sit offshore after having their brains and urine examined for the purpose of training domestic chefs in the fine art of ... wait for it ... pizza. North Korea, once again, has topped itself. Twisting and turning around its own logic like a mindless corkscrew, the lengths at which he goes to make a pizza (as the secret recipe of dough, tomato sauce and toppings has eluded their spies for years, I suppose) goes to show that anything is possible.
(03/17/09 2:23am)
Following the Bank of England's lead, the IMF is now proposing printing so-called "super currency" and distributing it globally to stem the tide of the global recession. Doing so would of course create inflation, but a bit of inflation is actually necessary as the risks that would come along with deflation are simply too great.
(03/17/09 1:57am)
(03/16/09 5:05pm)
List of bonuses given to AIG executives Sunday:
$40 million for remaining employed despite incompetence.
$10 million for dressing themselves for a week straight.
$20 million to be put toward tinted windows when the public finds out about the bonuses.
$30 million as a reward for being rewarded.
$60 million because they can.
Three cheers for bailouts in action!
(03/16/09 5:46am)
What happened to the f-bomb? Where did that lovely potent nugget of language run off to? It's like the bison of the English language, hunted down and overused until its almost gone. Oh sure, the word is still there, but what strength does it have? It's time that we made a new curse word, one that when uttered by anyone will cause old women to faint and gentlemen to slap the offender with a glove. Let's bring back the chutzpah that language once had!
Not that I'm advocating running down the street using profanities, there are still a few that will get you clocked by anyone with class. But there's a certain romantic feeling that's missing the way that curse words are thrown around these days. They're slowly becoming more evident on tv, the internet is actually 50% ones and zeroes, 50% curse words, and none of those curse words mean anything.
(03/15/09 12:13am)
Elon must have forgotten to send its check to the rain gods. This is the first time I can remember that the weather's been lousy during as big of an event as orientation. With the weather luck we've been having for the past few months, everything will be nice during spring break and then turn right back to crud.
(03/14/09 11:53pm)
At Colonnades around noon, a broadcasting sasquach walked right by, barely saying a word and fully intent on carrying chocolate milk out of the dining hall. It's always strange seeing famous people, there's a mental battle between pushing yourself before them and trying to get a handshake, an autograph or an internship (even Brian Williams needs coffee brought to him...) or just playing it cool and not being that irritating person who just looks like an idiot gushing to a star.
(03/13/09 5:41am)
Today was just like any other day, a tycoon was called out on swindling thousands out of billions, Congress was surly, a forced relationship came to an end, the slap-fight between the U.S. and China continued, etc. Of course, that doesn't mean there's anything to talk about...
In case you didn't hear, a U.S. survelliance ship was threatened by five Chinese boats, which nearly collided with our ship. To respond, the unarmed craft shot water at the Chinese vessels, because if there's one thing that boats fear, it's water. Now China is all flustered because it's provocative actions led to its navy getting wet, and we've sent over a few destroyers which presumably will be armed with super soakers. For all of the literature about the rising tensions between China and America, and the predictions of what exactly will bring out conflict between the two, if anything, it's going to be something stupid that starts up a war. It won't be a battle for the few remaining resources, a massive ideological clash of western democracy vs. eastern communism, but instead World War III will be fought over a game of chicken and a squirt gun.
Nadya Suleman, that lady who gave birth to eight kids, bought a bigger house. She has 14 kids, going after a bigger house is not news.
Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson broke up. Who would have thought high school kids thrust into the national spotlight wouldn't be ready for marriage?
The worst of the economic tailspin might be over, as despite having lost 45 percent of the world's wealth (according to Blackstone Group CEO Stephen Schwarzman) retail sales dropped only .1 percent in February (economists predicted a .5 percent drop) and Citibank doesn't need any more of our money (apparently $45 billion was just enough). What the retail numbers didn't take into account was the advent of snow in Elon, where the rush to purchase shovels, ice, bread and milk accounted for that .4 percent upswing. As for Citibank, the moment Washington starts talking about restrictions being tied to its funds, they cut the cord. It's akin to a glutton having all of everyone else's cake, eating it and then when we bake another batch and mention it uses natural ingredients for their own good, the glutton shakes their head and waddles off.
Democrats are now peeved that the stimulus package hasn't yet proven itself to be a miracle cure, and a great deal of them are incredible concerned about the morbidly obese size of the upcoming federal budget. Actually, there's nothing here to be snide about, they're being perfectly reasonable here...
Three astronauts, Russian Yury Lonchakov and Americans Michael Fincke and Sandra Magnus, were forced to hide in an escape pod while tiny bits of trash threatened their lives. In the future, no one will care about lasers and space missiles, all we'll need to do is hurl garbage at one another. It'll solve two problems at once!
Elon's "POWERless Energy" competition is continuing, with North area in the lead with two students turning off their computers overnight as opposed to just one.
Jonathan Papelbon of the Boston Red Sox described ex-teammate Manny Ramirez as a "cancer," which makes the Los Angeles a bizarre creature that feeds off of cancer to make it stronger.
(03/12/09 1:04am)
Two issues involving incarceration arose today that are, inexplicably, related. One, involves the despicable Bernie Madoff's expected guilty plea for criminal charges related to his estimated $65 billion fake investment scheme. The other involves the castration of sex offenders in the Czech Republic, an increasingly common practice that is deemed, "invasive, irreversible and mutilating" by the Council of Europe's anti-torture committee (but a-OK for Louisiana, where Bobby Jindal signed in favor of it).
(03/11/09 6:46pm)
Wal-Mart, that whipping dog that dares to give most of the American people what they want, is now stepping on Obama's toes. Digital health records have long been a policy point for Obama, and they seem like a no-brainer provided that they're done in an effective manner
(03/11/09 2:26am)
Monday afternoon marked the end of Ernie Nestor's tenure as Elon men's basketball coach. He was at the university for six years.
(03/10/09 10:00pm)
What does it say about the western world when it's outsmarted by a chimpanzee? Sure, we wear pants, drive cars and lewdly groom ourselves in private, but just how much superior are we to our simian pals? Santino, a 31 year-old chimp in Sweden, is now heralded as exhibiting the first instance of adaptively planning ahead, something normally believed to be particular to people. Santino's plan involved collecting stones and breaking apart the concrete floor of his pen, hiding them close to where visitors typically view him and then hurling these rocks at said visitors.
(03/07/09 4:25am)
Is the tacky adaptation of a holy grail of geekdom particularly pertinent given the grave dangers facing the real world? No, but this is a blog, so a certain degree of flexibility is permitted.
(03/06/09 4:30am)
This is old news, I know. But it's something that I can't wrap my head around. Remember when Obama was supposed to be a grand international statesman, wooing foreign leaders (who were all to happy to associate themselves with the soon-to-be president) with his charm and intelligence?
(03/05/09 2:38am)
What do you get when the media is bored with covering the economy and world affairs, the White House wants to kick its policies through the door as quickly as possible and demagogues on both sides of the fence have their sleeves rolled up, fisticuffs twirling in the air?
(03/04/09 8:12pm)
Julius Genachowski, while sounding like the type of guy who would still occasionally misspells his name, is about to become a unpronounceable household name.
(03/04/09 11:11am)
-Morgan Little