No matter how hard some try to deny it, there is one activity that is, without? a doubt, happening at Elon University: sex.
In an online survey of 100 sophomores, juniors, and seniors, students consistently expressed concerns about how sex goes down at Elon. Their main concerns?
The role of alcohol and a lack of communication and consent.
The problem with liquid courage
In case you were unaware, college students drink. With this in mind, we should take a moment and think about how alcohol could influence a powerful factor in the Elon party scene.
“Sex drives the party scene at Elon,” a female senior said. “It becomes a trophy or something to cross off your bucket list, like having sex in all the academic buildings or hooking up with someone from every fraternity or sorority.”
And she isn’t the only one who said she feels this way.? A sophomore said, “If you have sex on the weekends, then you had a good weekend. People who hook up with people are ‘successful.’”
But for some, the loss of inhibitions, or taking advantage of other people losing their inhibitions, turns out badly.
“Some people are very aggressive, especially when intoxicated, which can be scary,” said another female sophomore.
As students, we must recognize that some of our peers are fearful of overly aggressive partygoers and that alcohol plays a role in this issue.
It is not a rare event for someone?to wake up the next morning uncomfortable with what happened last night because they were too impaired to have a say in what was happening in their, or somebody else’s, bed.
Let’s talk about sex
Many respondents said they, too, felt that although some students are comfortable talking about sex with their friends or over apps like Yik Yak, they are rarely discussing sex with their partners.
In response to the question about how communication about sex works at Elon,a female senior said, “There is this cloud of awkwardness surrounding sex because people just don’t know how to deal with having open conversations if there is a risk that they will be embarrassing or uncomfortable. People here would rather just avoid it and hope for the best, which unfortunately can lead to all sorts of bad outcomes.”
All too often people on campus are having sex that they aren’t interested in having or aren’t trying out things that they want to try. If sex is meant to be a pleasurable experience, discussion has to be a prerequisite.
Just as no one knows exactly what “hookup” means, no one knows exactly what “sex” means either.
What feels good to one person may feel terrible to another, which is some- thing students need to take into account if they’re going to continue engaging in sexual activity.
While a hookup doesn’t necessarily mean forever-love, it should include an element of respect that means that both people should benefit from the encounter, or at least not be scarred for life.
Consent?
With alcohol playing a strong role and inhibiting the ability of students to make decisions, the idea of consent being enthusiastically given and explicitly stated seems nearly impossible.
A female senior said, “People do not know how to deal with sex. People do not understand what consent looks like when they are actually in the bedroom, a few drinks in. I think it creates a culture where nonconsensual sexual encounters are normalized.”
Let me put it this way: if you’re going to have sex, you need to talk about it, and it’s probably going to be better to have that discussion if you’re not drunk.
The art of communication
At the end of the day, some students say they feel that sex at Elon isn’t what it’s meant to be. Those of us that do have sex are messing up in some pretty major ways. We’re not practicing consent, and we’re not practicing safe sex.
But not all hope is lost.
Judging from the results of the survey and the sheer number of people who stepped up to take it, Elon students want to be better at sex, and the best way to do is to open up the channels of communication.