The first official day of fall has come and gone, and there is a lot to be excited for this season. Among my favorite things about the season is the resounding crunch of stepping on a leaf, wearing pants all the time and the end of hate-watching yet another season of “The Newsroom.” Fall has undoubtedly been my favorite season for as long as I can remember.
If you have been reading any of the Last Words before, you know my soul is not only that of an 80-year-old cynic, but as judgmental as any of Elon University’s anonymous Twitter accounts. But fall seems to provide some relief for my soul that no other season can provide for it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still the lovable pessimist all of you have grown so close to while reading this column, but when fall arrives, I feel fresher than Lindsay Lohan after a rehab stint.
That being said, I’ve taken particular notice of a strange anomaly occurring within the past few weeks at Elon. Has anyone else noticed the strange murmur of hushed voices across campus? For once it doesn’t seem to be about the latest Smith Jackson email or Chick-fil-A debacle.
It’s thousands of Elon students ordering pumpkin spice lattes.
As a child, I was once tricked into saying Bloody Mary three times in a pitch-black bathroom. Cue a week of keeping my bathroom light on while I slept. Unsurprisingly, Bloody Mary didn’t visit. Never mind the fact I was 12.
The point is, I believe the Bloody Mary ritual can be tweaked, not twerked, for all of you pumpkin spice latte lovers out there. If you go into Acorn, Starbucks or another coffee shop’s bathroom, turn off the lights and say “pumpkin spice latte” three times while spinning around, a barista will appear to hand you a pumpkin spice latte.
I am not a lover of most pumpkin-flavored foods or coffee, so I have yet to try this because I wouldn’t want a pumpkin spice latte to go to waste. But I’m sure this is a foolproof plan to save a few dollars and meal swipes.
While I won’t have a pumpkin spice latte to keep me warm on cool fall nights, you can bet I will be cocooned into a blanket somewhere, avoiding social interaction as I feast on new TV shows. “Scandal,” “Parks and Recreation” and “American Horror Story: Coven” are all returning, though I’m still mourning the cancellation of “Happy Endings.”
Though it is great that so many of my favorite shows are starting within the next month, it does have its drawbacks. My emotional state will likely be driven by the happenings of Olivia Pope, Leslie Knope and Jessica Lange’s character on “American Horror Story,” and will doubtlessly ruin my sleep schedule.
Good thing I’ll have that cool fall breeze to wake me up on my walk to class. Living in the South, there’s only one problem when banking on fall temperatures: The season only lasts two weeks.