Michael Sam is the kind of role model I wish I’d had growing up. The South Eastern Conference (SEC) defensive player of the year from the University of Missouri recently came out as gay ahead of the 2014 NFL draft, a bold move that will likely make him the first openly gay player in NFL history. While some have claimed it to be a publicity stunt, it’s important to remember that he did this in the face of considerable risk to his draft position, endorsement deals and relationships with future teammates, all because he didn’t want to spend his career hiding who he really was.
The courage he demonstrated is admirable. Growing up as a gay guy, I quickly noticed the lack of masculine role models in the gay community. While I can’t say I have personally experienced much in the way of overt discrimination, I can say that certain activities by nature never seemed to be welcoming to people like me with sports being among them. The hyper-masculine environment was the opposite of what society told me gay men were supposed to be, and so as a kid I stuck with extracurricular activities that were more in line with my concept of a “gay lifestyle.”
Of course, I now realize this is all nonsense, but it’s not hard to see how common these views have become in our society. One needs to look no further than a Sports Illustrated article that was published just last week. It quoted an anonymous NFL source saying: “I don’t think football is ready for [an openly gay player] just yet. In the coming decade or two, it’s going to be acceptable, but at this point in time it’s still a man’s-man game.”
Putting aside the hilariously homoerotic connotation of the phrase “man’s-man,” this quote showcases the troubling views many have on gay men and masculinity. Sam was the SEC leader in sacks and tackles for loss last season, but because he’s attracted to men instead of women, he’s suddenly not masculine enough to play football. Furthermore, his mere presence is a “distraction,” never mind the constant parade of NFL players who are charged with everything from DUI to rape and even homicide. These things are fine, but having a gay guy on your team would “chemically imbalance an NFL locker room,” according to the same anonymous source. It would seem silly if this wasn’t what many people truly believed.
I’m sure in Sam’s ideal world, an announcement like this wouldn’t even be necessary, let alone be the focus of endless media coverage. That isn’t the reality of the world we live in, and him having the courage to stand up for who he is in the face of such hostility is truly brave. He isn’t looking for special treatment, and he isn’t “flaunting his sexuality” at least not any more than you do when you talk about your girlfriend at work or put a picture of your husband on your desk. He’s simply trying to live his life openly and honestly.
I hope his announcement won’t lead to him being treated any differently than any other player in the draft, and his hopefully long and illustrious NFL career can serve as an inspiration to the many kids like me who don’t believe being gay means forfeiting your manhood.