NEWS 3/16/09 1:05pm

Amazingly Incompetent Generosity

List of bonuses given to AIG executives Sunday: $40 million for remaining employed despite incompetence. $10 million for dressing themselves for a week straight. $20 million to be put toward tinted windows when the public finds out about the bonuses. $30 million as a reward for being rewarded. $60 million because they can. Three cheers for bailouts in action!

NEWS 3/16/09 1:46am

No, give me a f#&%*ing break

What happened to the f-bomb? Where did that lovely potent nugget of language run off to? It's like the bison of the English language, hunted down and overused until its almost gone.

NEWS 3/14/09 7:53pm

Brian Williams!

At Colonnades around noon, a broadcasting sasquach walked right by, barely saying a word and fully intent on carrying chocolate milk out of the dining hall.

NEWS 3/11/09 9:04pm

The cage or the whip?

Two issues involving incarceration arose today that are, inexplicably, related. One, involves the despicable Bernie Madoff's expected guilty plea for criminal charges related to his estimated $65 billion fake investment scheme.

NEWS 3/10/09 6:00pm

Monkey business

What does it say about the western world when it's outsmarted by a chimpanzee? Sure, we wear pants, drive cars and lewdly groom ourselves in private, but just how much superior are we to our simian pals?

NEWS 3/4/09 9:38pm

A Rush of stupid to the head

What do you get when the media is bored with covering the economy and world affairs, the White House wants to kick its policies through the door as quickly as possible and demagogues on both sides of the fence have their sleeves rolled up, fisticuffs twirling in the air? If you guessed a stupid feud between Rush Limbaugh and the Democrats, then you win!

NEWS 3/4/09 3:12pm

FCC? Competence?

Julius Genachowski, while sounding like the type of guy who would still occasionally misspells his name, is about to become a unpronounceable household name. But only in the households of communications majors.