I like to think that  people pick up The Pendulum or log onto our website every week and think something along the lines of "Wow, they're so creative. Every idea The Pendulum staff comes up with must be perfect."

It's not really a bad thought. I mean, look at some of the articles we've printed recently. Elon has an interior designer? There's a DJ Tippy Cat? It's all remarkable, really.

But even we can make mistakes. Even we can have our ideas turned down. And by we, I mean me. I probably pitch 100.4 percent of turned down story ideas. In the spirit of transparency (don't you love that word?) I thought I'd share some of my thoughts and pitches that I've come up with, thought about  or will probably pitch in the near future so that you can see the insanity for yourself.

Adam Lawson pitches:

1. The true underdog -- Redheads in sports

It's a scary thought. Redheads could go extinct in 100 years. So with the sad, sad realization that our auburn haired friends are slowly dwindling, why not commemorate them with an article that recognizes the best in the sports world. Why, there's Andy Dalton of the Cincinnati Bengals. There's Shaun White of the skiing world. There's... Chuck Norris?

Yeah, this idea was stupid.

2. Stadium deals

The Phoenix men's and women's basketball team participated in this weekend's Southern Conference Tournament in Asheville. While that is significant, the biggest thing I noticed was the name of the venue: ExploreAsheville.com Arena. Hello, marketing opportunity. Why not rename Alumni Gym ElonPendulum.com Stadium? It brings hits to the website and everybody in the world would know our name? Why stop there? The Super Bowl is in the Meadowlands this year. Let's buyout MetLife and brand it, Pendulum style? I'm a modern-day Bill Veeck, only I don't own the Chicago White Sox. What's that? We have a budget? Foiled again.

3. Promotional opportunities

In my opinion, Major League Baseball is the best sport America has to offer. Part of the excellence comes from the promotional opportunities the game provides. I'm talking bobbleheads.  And who would be fit to make their action figure debut? How about Pendulum adviser Colin Donohue? Why not, on a future Wednesday, stack a set of Colin Donohue bobbleheads next to the paper rack? It'll be brilliant. I haven't actually pitched this idea yet, but I'm sure it will go swimmingly.

4. Nickname the Phoenix

So many sports, so many athletes. Who has time to memorize all those names? Why not ask for feedback from the fans on how we should nickname these players? We print the best one up each week in a full-page, full-color article. Hello?

5. Money time

It's a sad fact. The newspaper industry is dying. But The Pendulum does have a spacious third-floor office. All that room to plan ideas. How about this? Dog show. We can make the Westminster Dog Show look like rubbish and advertisers from Petco to Kibbles will leap at the opportunity to become a part of it. Then the budget increases and we increase our coverage area to, conservatively guessing, Omaha, Nebraska. Then we can run with idea No. 2, and Super Bowl XLVII. How's that sound?

Brilliant, huh?