We live in a world with seven billion people with millions of likes, dislikes, experiences, interests and hobbies. 

But, a lot of times, the very best person with whom you should spend an ample amount of time is yourself. 

Where a boyfriend can be too clingy, a close friend can drive you insane and a blind date can make you downright uncomfortable — there’s no one who knows you like yourself. 

You tell yourself everything — I could never backstab myself. You know yourself, you love yourself (or at least I do —should you not, I love myself enough for a whole army, so I’ve got that covered for you), and you shouldn’t have to put up with anyone else.

This is why the very best dates I’ve been on in my life were parties of one.

 I’ve never been late to a date with myself, never said something that pissed myself off and yes, we’ve always gone home together after. Did I mention I found my date to be very funny? Things have been going well ever since. 

Never underestimate the power of dating yourself.

Dating yourself is an incredibly healthy practice that many people, myself included, have been known to enjoy. 

Rebecca Ratner, a professor at the Robert H. Smith School of Business, recently did a study about why people are so reluctant to spend time alone. 

She conducted an experiment with a colleague centered around whether folks enjoyed going to an art gallery more by themselves or with another person. 

What they found was this: people expected to enjoy the excursion less when they were alone, but they actually tended to have just as good of a time regardless of they were with someone. 

After the hundreds of people surveyed for this study proved that people can and do enjoy social time alone, why are there still so many people afraid to go to a movie alone, walk to get a sandwich by themselves are desperate to find a friend willing to go to the bathroom with them?

The answer is this: Humans are overly self-conscious. People as a whole tend not to leave their homes and do an activity alone because they don’t want people thinking they’re lame or friendless.

“The reason we think we won’t have fun is because we’re worried about what other people will think,” Ratner said to the New York Times. “We end up staying at home instead of going out to do stuff because we’re afraid others will think they’re a ‘loser.’”

The reality is that humans in this day and age are so concerned with their egos, they think a majority of the people in their lives care adamantly about what they’re doing on a Friday night and who they’re eating lunch with after class, when an overwhelming amount of other people really don’t care whatsoever. 

Others, it appears, aren’t as interested in what’s going on in our lives as we expect.

There’s a lot of research that displays how regularly we overestimate others’ interest in our actions. 

The phenomenon is so widely recognized that there’s even a title for it in psychology: the spotlight effect. 

A 2000 study conducted by Thomas Gilovich found that people regularly adjust their actions to account for the opinions of other people, even though their actions almost always go unnoticed.

So, why be so concerned about the way you live when nobody else actually cares? You shouldn’t be. And I hope, after this, you aren’t.

There’s really no time to lose now — so go chase your dream match, get on the phone right now and make that dinner reservation for one. I think you’ll like how it goes.


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